Posts Tagged ‘Relationship’

If you’re a member of a networking group that meets on a regular basis, you’ll be very aware of the focus on keeping a steady flow of visitors coming along to the meetings.  This needs to happen for a number of reasons;

• One of the reasons we network is to expand our personal contact sphere and visitors help us do this.
• New visitors always add energy to the room and will, usually, enhance the meeting.
• Most networking groups are looking to grow and some of the visitors may well decide to join.
• In a referral networking group, visitors do pass referrals -  if they have a need represented in the room.
• If a member has a need represented by a visitor, that visitor may receive an opportunity to do business.
• A visitor may prove to be a great referral partner for one or more of the members – even if they don’t choose to join the group.
• Strategic alliances can also develop between members and visitors providing excellent, ongoing business opportunities for both party’s.

This is not an exclusive list and all of these things are, of course, dependent on the appropriate relationship developing but you can see the great benefits that visitors bring to a meeting.

As members, we tend to judge the visitors that come along from our own perspective but it’s easy to forget that they, too, will be making their own judgements.

They will be judging us as individuals,  judging our businesses and judging the networking group that we belong to – and all this from their experience at a single meeting.

A survey was carried out a few years ago asking people what their biggest fear is.  Surprisingly, the fear of dying only managed to make it to No. 3!   At No.2 was the fear of entering a room full of strangers and at No.1 was the fear of public speaking.

Given that many networking groups expect everyone in attendance to deliver a short presentation about their business, the results of this survey only highlight the fact that many of us are stepping way outside of our comfort zones when we go networking.  Particularly when visiting a new group for the first time.

As members, it’s really important that we’re mindful of the fact that many visitors will feel very ill at ease when they come to a meeting and we need to treat them in a way that ensures that they feel welcomed, valued and included throughout the meeting.  In fact, I think we need to make sure that they get a ‘warm and fuzzy’ feeling about their experience.

After all, no-one joins a networking organisation, they join the people in the room.  Not to mention the fact that, as I mentioned earlier, they are judging us, our businesses and the group by their experience.

The challenge with this is that members also share these very same fears and this can manifest itself in networking groups appearing to be cliquey.   Members can slip into the habit of getting into small groups and talking to their fellow members – their friends – and not talking to the visitors, which can result in visitors feeling excluded and getting a bad impression.

It’s our responsibility to make sure that all members are aware of this ‘fear factor’ and are constantly paying attention to visitors, making sure that they’re not left alone or left talking to other visitors without any member in attendance.  We need to actively include them in the group at all times and this is especially critical if we’re looking to grow our group.

If you’ve ever invited a visitor to your group only for them not to turn up on the day, don’t judge them too harshly.  It may just be that having to step outside of their comfort zone, in this way, got the better of them.  Give them the benefit of the doubt.

Always remember that many people find networking a pretty scary experience so, if you treat them accordingly, you’ll find that the early stages in new relationships will develop much more quickly, that visitors to your networking group will be far more likely to join and you’ll get visitors recommending your group to their contacts.

Happy networking.

Steve Bimpson

If we want to build relationships that result in us receiving referrals (Referral Networking) then we have to be prepared to give referrals or, at least, give something of true value to those people that we are in these relationships with.  After all, it’s a little arrogant of us to expect others to give us something if we’re not prepared to give something of equal value to them.

In fact, we have to give first, sometimes over and over and over again, to create reciprocity in others.  Particularly, where we have instigated the building of this relationship and where we are interested in the relationship delivering the kind of result we would like it to.

Whether we’ve instigated the relationship or not, if it’s important to us,  then there is something that we need to understand and it’s a real contradiction in terms that can take a bit of getting our head around.

Even though we’ve built this relationship with a view to generating referrals for our own business we mustn’t approach the relationship in this way.  When we take into account the “Universal Laws of Success in Networking” then we start to realise that building these relationships are all about what we give and not about what we receive.

For instance, the Law of Cause and Effect is all about sewing and reaping, about every effect having a cause.  Therefore, if we want to receive something then there has to be a cause first.

We have to sew the seeds and then nurture them.  That’s the fundamental Law of the Universe.

The Law of Attraction, as discussed at length in “The Secret”, talks about us attracting into our lives the people, places and circumstances that are aligned with our thoughts.

If we’re thinking about the referrals that we want to recieve, we will attract into our lives other people that are thinking the same way.  If all parties in the relationship are thinking about what they can take, where will it come from?

The Law of Reciprocity states that people want to pay you back for what you do for them or for what you give to them.  So by giving something of value or doing something of value for someone, they will have a natural desire to want to reciprocate.

If all we are doing is waiting for what we want from the relationship (referrals) then the other party will, almost certainly, reciprocate by doing exactly the same – waiting!

The Law of Compensation says that whatever you put in, you will get out.  You will always be compensated in full for whatever you do.

If we don’t “do” anything in this relationship, what level of compensation are we going to receive?

Whether we like to hear it or not, we really don’t get something for nothing and there are clues to this all around us.  Most of us simply don’t listen, or just don’t understand.   So, for the sake of clarity, let’s define exactly what the true nature of giving is or, at least, should be.

• When we give, we are taking an action of some kind.  This action is a “cause” and it will produce an “effect”.   Trust me when I tell you this and trust that it will come back to you.  Just make sure that what you give is of good intention and good value to the recipient.
• We must give without attachment, condition or expectation of what will come in return.  In keeping with the Law of Attraction the attachment, condition or expectation will have a wholly negative affect on the giving.  At best this will mean that anything we receive will come with its’ own attachment, condition or expectation.  At worst the act of giving will be completely negated.
• Giving should be a habit.  It’s something that we should practice all of the time and in all aspects of our life.  Certainly, not just in our business – and not just because we’re trying to generate referrals.  If giving isn’t something that we do as a matter of course, then the power that comes from giving, will be restricted.
• If we stop giving it’s usually to wait to see what comes of what we’ve already given.  This creates an attachment, condition or expectation and it will have a negative effect on what you receive.  If you stop giving, you’ll also stop the flow of receiving because the two are inextricably linked.
• Understand that what you receive may not come from where you would expect.  In fact, if you’re expecting it to come from somewhere, you’re creating an expectation, or condition, linked to your act of giving.  Just trust that you will sew what you reap.  That what goes around, comes around.  And don’t forget that it usually comes back to you magnified!

The fundamental aim of networking-in-business.com is to help everyone understand how networking really works.  To help them realise that success in networking starts and finishes with what we give and not what we receive.

If everyone out there networking simply waited to see what business/referrals they would get, they’d all be waiting a very, very long time.

Don’t go making that most fundamental of errors, yourself.  Give freely, without attachment, and trust in the Universal Laws.  They ONLY work!!

Steve Bimpson