Archive for February, 2010

If we want to build relationships that result in us receiving referrals (Referral Networking) then we have to be prepared to give referrals or, at least, give something of true value to those people that we are in these relationships with.  After all, it’s a little arrogant of us to expect others to give us something if we’re not prepared to give something of equal value to them.

In fact, we have to give first, sometimes over and over and over again, to create reciprocity in others.  Particularly, where we have instigated the building of this relationship and where we are interested in the relationship delivering the kind of result we would like it to.

Whether we’ve instigated the relationship or not, if it’s important to us,  then there is something that we need to understand and it’s a real contradiction in terms that can take a bit of getting our head around.

Even though we’ve built this relationship with a view to generating referrals for our own business we mustn’t approach the relationship in this way.  When we take into account the “Universal Laws of Success in Networking” then we start to realise that building these relationships are all about what we give and not about what we receive.

For instance, the Law of Cause and Effect is all about sewing and reaping, about every effect having a cause.  Therefore, if we want to receive something then there has to be a cause first.

We have to sew the seeds and then nurture them.  That’s the fundamental Law of the Universe.

The Law of Attraction, as discussed at length in “The Secret”, talks about us attracting into our lives the people, places and circumstances that are aligned with our thoughts.

If we’re thinking about the referrals that we want to recieve, we will attract into our lives other people that are thinking the same way.  If all parties in the relationship are thinking about what they can take, where will it come from?

The Law of Reciprocity states that people want to pay you back for what you do for them or for what you give to them.  So by giving something of value or doing something of value for someone, they will have a natural desire to want to reciprocate.

If all we are doing is waiting for what we want from the relationship (referrals) then the other party will, almost certainly, reciprocate by doing exactly the same – waiting!

The Law of Compensation says that whatever you put in, you will get out.  You will always be compensated in full for whatever you do.

If we don’t “do” anything in this relationship, what level of compensation are we going to receive?

Whether we like to hear it or not, we really don’t get something for nothing and there are clues to this all around us.  Most of us simply don’t listen, or just don’t understand.   So, for the sake of clarity, let’s define exactly what the true nature of giving is or, at least, should be.

• When we give, we are taking an action of some kind.  This action is a “cause” and it will produce an “effect”.   Trust me when I tell you this and trust that it will come back to you.  Just make sure that what you give is of good intention and good value to the recipient.
• We must give without attachment, condition or expectation of what will come in return.  In keeping with the Law of Attraction the attachment, condition or expectation will have a wholly negative affect on the giving.  At best this will mean that anything we receive will come with its’ own attachment, condition or expectation.  At worst the act of giving will be completely negated.
• Giving should be a habit.  It’s something that we should practice all of the time and in all aspects of our life.  Certainly, not just in our business – and not just because we’re trying to generate referrals.  If giving isn’t something that we do as a matter of course, then the power that comes from giving, will be restricted.
• If we stop giving it’s usually to wait to see what comes of what we’ve already given.  This creates an attachment, condition or expectation and it will have a negative effect on what you receive.  If you stop giving, you’ll also stop the flow of receiving because the two are inextricably linked.
• Understand that what you receive may not come from where you would expect.  In fact, if you’re expecting it to come from somewhere, you’re creating an expectation, or condition, linked to your act of giving.  Just trust that you will sew what you reap.  That what goes around, comes around.  And don’t forget that it usually comes back to you magnified!

The fundamental aim of networking-in-business.com is to help everyone understand how networking really works.  To help them realise that success in networking starts and finishes with what we give and not what we receive.

If everyone out there networking simply waited to see what business/referrals they would get, they’d all be waiting a very, very long time.

Don’t go making that most fundamental of errors, yourself.  Give freely, without attachment, and trust in the Universal Laws.  They ONLY work!!

Steve Bimpson

Just in case you didn’t know, this week was International Networking Week and, yesterday, I attended a BNI “Big Breakfast” event which was held to celebrate the occasion.  The event was open to members of all of the BNI chapters in Hampshire in the UK, as well as, to their guests.

The goal of International Networking Week is to celebrate the key role that networking plays in the development and success of businesses across the world.   It’s the wish of Dr. Ivan Misner, the founder of BNI, that all members should reap the benefits of participating in this celebration of networking.

Rather than my trying to explain to you exactly what it’s all about, I thought that I’d let Dr Misner tell you himself;

Back to the “Big Breakfast”.

Well over 100 members and their visitors took advantage of the opportunity to experience Speed Networking the BNI way.  After Dr Misners’ introduction video, shown above,  attendees were split into small groups.  Each group had a facilitator and each member of the group was given a number.  Then, after everyone performed a 60 second presentation to their group, a simple formula was used which gave each individual the number of the next group they should move on to.

The system worked perfectly and, after a number of group changes (13 to be precise), interspersed with a break for breakfast and another for liquid refreshments, everyone got to deliver their 60 second presentation to everyone else.  And, of course, exchange business cards.

You couldn’t help but be impressed with how well the system worked.  The aim being to briefly meet everyone and get their business cards so that you can then follow up at a later date and start to build relationships with those people relevant to you.

I had the opportunity to talk to a number of people before they left and there was an overwhelming ‘thumbs up’ for the morning.  Everyone I spoke to talked about the fact that they had made some really good contacts and had thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience.  Despite the fact that delivering 14 x 60 second presentations had taken its toll, leaving many a little worn out – but still smiling.

Steve Bimpson